danecook on Twitter

6/14 @ 3:14 PM

DaneCook - My lineup is sick at Just For Laughs. @RobertKelly @GaryGulman @GregFitzShow @HarlandWilliams #JFLMtl Retweet | Reply | Link

6/14 @ 3:12 PM

DaneCook - It's happening. I'm hosting a gala at Just For Laughs in Montréal JULY 24th. TIX / 411 HERE: http://t.co/2uFE2cluIV #JFLMtl Retweet | Reply | Link

6/14 @ 3:26 AM

DaneCook - .@peteholmes your little Susanna Hoffs side eye glance makes me want to beat you up. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/14 @ 12:22 AM

DaneCook - Go ahead and shake your money mismanager. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/14 @ 12:08 AM

DaneCook - This pizza had it comin'. #pizza #dominos #NBA #makeup101 #foodabuse https://t.co/mEwMvdOxSI Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 6:57 PM

DaneCook - It's easy to hate or want to debate / point fingers and find weakness in others. Right now I could use some goodwill. I need your hope. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 4:26 PM

DaneCook - My exclusive scene from White House Down. https://t.co/uYKLWqrwKe Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 4:17 PM

DaneCook - Here I am with my dad and sister back when I lived in the old west. #ThrowbackThursday… http://t.co/H92m7ED06D Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 3:23 PM

DaneCook - This guy gives the WORST directions EVER! via @JohnCampanelli1 https://t.co/yTw3F0g00C Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 2:38 PM

DaneCook - Fun new way to find out your "porn name." First, take the name of your first pet then get into porn and see what people call you on set. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 2:26 PM

DaneCook - Sorry guys... that last post was suppose to be a Google search. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 2:26 PM

DaneCook - drunken horseback riding on a drunk horse Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 2:20 PM

DaneCook - Just made a movie of my twitter: https://t.co/IM0GMZvoZc What do you think? #FollowMe #Vizify Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 6:31 AM

DaneCook - I drew this for you. http://t.co/vaFmbWgsKm Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 6:30 AM

DaneCook - I need some dirty sex right now. Like hate sex where after it's over you have to go outside and spray yourself off with a garden hose. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 6:24 AM

DaneCook - It's not easy being close to the person you love to be so far away from. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/13 @ 1:00 AM

DaneCook - FUCK Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 10:36 PM

DaneCook - .@__amandabrooke: "@DaneCook I've been a fan since I was 12. Yes my sense of humor is awesome thanks to you. #LoveYou” - Thx A! Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 10:35 PM

DaneCook - .@DuhhJango: "@DaneCook Are you watching @NHLBruins right now? I know you're a huge @RedSox. #BostonStrong #CupCrazy” - never miss a game. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 10:22 PM

DaneCook - My buddies at Iddiction created #ClipChat. I'm on it now! Username: MyNameGoesHere • http://t.co/muf6E7r63n • Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 10:17 PM

DaneCook - “@Nicolee_Baee: Dane cook marry me you make my night! @DaneCook” - can we at least talk on the phone once? Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 1:07 PM

DaneCook - Man of Steel rocks but I'm imagining this darker Superman played by the brilliant Christopher Reeve. http://t.co/ULHlyVTyHN Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 4:32 AM

DaneCook - I'm at Lilith Fair right now! Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 3:37 AM

DaneCook - Snapchat: MyNameGoesHere Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 3:37 AM

DaneCook - “@DaRealZAK: @DaneCook keep making us laugh and you will ALWAYS have our support! Big fan man keep on doing the great work!” - you too Zak Retweet | Reply | Link

6/12 @ 2:36 AM

DaneCook - I truly love my fans. Met a few from my 1st shows in Boston early 90s last night. From laundry mats to stadiums. I love you guys! #onward Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 10:03 PM

DaneCook - I'm babysitting tonight. Anyone know how a baby likes their steak prepared? Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 8:58 PM

DaneCook - Thank you .@Microsoft for sending me an XBOX ONE early to test drive. Unboxing it now! http://t.co/wqhjC3zZUr Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 8:52 PM

DaneCook - Thank you .@Microsoft for sending me an XBOX ONE early so I can test drive it. Unboxing it now! http://t.co/c7Qx8OW37r Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 8:51 PM

DaneCook - Thank you @Microsoft for sending me an XBOX ONE early so I can test drive it. Unboxing it now! http://t.co/c7Qx8OW37r Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 8:39 PM

DaneCook - Thank you Microsoft for sending me an XBOX ONE early so I can test drive it. Unboxing it now! http://t.co/c7Qx8OW37r Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 8:21 PM

DaneCook - .@RobDyrdek on Ridiculousness always cracks me up. #thatboygood Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 6:38 PM

DaneCook - It's outstanding how dumb some people are. Worst part is you don't even know who you are due to your abundance of dumb. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 5:43 PM

DaneCook - Hey, I'm back! Whudimiss? Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 5:43 PM

DaneCook - I'm about to go have sex. See ya when I'm done "stormin' the castle" if ya know what I saying. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 4:36 PM

DaneCook - Behind the scenes working with a very talented team on our film, Disney Planes. http://t.co/TvYSVmUCNJ Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 4:10 PM

DaneCook - NEW Lonely Island GO KINDERGARTEN vid makes you wanna get up and have air sex. http://t.co/CP3K7Uvi6X Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 3:57 PM

DaneCook - I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 3:51 PM

DaneCook - In that case. You have not truly lived until you've purchased a toilet at Home Depot and installed it yourself. Retweet | Reply | Link

6/11 @ 3:48 PM

DaneCook - .@TrentonRB said: that's a @DonaldGlover joke. He uses it in his Stand up special.” - ahh in that case Glover HAS TRULY LIVED! Retweet | Reply | Link

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